Med Chronicles: Part I - Accepted!

The first response I received from Med School was a rejection from Calgary. It hit me hard, as I thought my best interview was in Calgary, by far. I loved their school’s philosophy, their learning style, and the diversity in their students. Unlike other schools which focused more on critical thinking and knowledge, Calgary’s interview focused 100% on your personal values and how you truly react in different situations. Thinking back, there is nothing I would change. So learning that what I perceived to be the most honest version of me wasn’t deemed fit for their medical program was confusing and disappointing. I would hear from the rest of the other schools in the next week, while alone in Saskatoon, and suddenly this thought became very ominous. I was worried, I ran through every single What if, and I struggled to maintain hope.  So last Tuesday morning, I woke up terrified, heart racing as I anxiously opened my Gmail inbox… but seeing “Offer of Admission” in those first few subject lines gave me the most overwhelming feeling of relief. I was elated -  Accepted?? Accepted!!! THANK YOU BUDDHA. All the time and effort I put in this year, all the flights and travels across country, it was all worth it for this moment. It’s really surreal actually, when you witness your long-awaited dreams come to life.  I am going to be a doctor. And I couldn’t be happier :)

Since then, I’ve had time to reflect and am left with these thoughts regarding the whole admissions process:  

           1. Run your own race.  

The term “quiet confidence” is one I’ve become more comfortable with this year. It is easy to become competitive or intimidated when applying for the too limited spots in med school. It is also easy to underestimate yourself when seeing others CVs and GPAs.  But, the truth is, everyone comes unique with qualifications, characteristics, stories, and experiences that make them different. Won that race? Sweet, YOUR trophy. Failed that course? Hm, YOUR mess. Passed it later? Ace, YOUR solution. Your mistakes, your problems, your achievements- it is ALL yours and ONLY yours. So never think that the goal is to be better than others. Instead, strive to be the best version of yourself, never ever sell yourself short, and just go OWN it like you know it. 

           2. Stay calm and carry on. 

Med Admissions is a game and you are its player. But, like Pita once mused, “I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. [If I'm gonna die,] I wanna still be me.” And you can. No one, much less a 4-person admissions committee, can wipe away your knowledge, your experiences, and your spirit. You are you, and you are wonderful. Remember that you have done all in your power to show them all that you have. Leave what’s done behind, believe that the system is just, and keep on living. Remind yourself that luck plays a factor in final decisions and that life will still go on if you don’t get in. More importantly, no matter what they decide now, you WILL become a doctor, and a kick-ass one at that. 

           3. Be open to change.

My reasons for wanting to be a doctor, my career goals, and my values have flipped, flopped, and turned this past year. I walk out of the admissions process with more validation and more enthusiasm, inspired by the journeys and aspirations of other folks I’ve met. When asked “Why would you be a good doctor?”, “What are your strengths?”, “What are your goals?”, my answers often changed with every interview. Some could say I’m easily influenced, but for me it was more so thrilling, in a way, to let myself change as I reflected more, reflected differently, and reflected openly with different people. Saying things out loud is scary, especially in front of others, but it can change you, and sometimes for the better.

           4. Surround yourself with beautiful people. 

It is true, the application process is stressful and extremely grueling. You always have doubts, worries, and count-downs in the back of your head, but determined to never show it. And though I believed I never wanted to talk or think about decisions, it truly was the “You’ll be fine”s, the “I believe in you”s, the “Calm down child”s, and the “Don’t worry, I’ll still love you even if…”s that pushed me through this incredibly long year. ‘Cause hearing that the people who know you best truly believe in you is uplifting and gives you hope when you need it most. So spend the dolla dolla bills, but the greatest med school resource is not Kaplan, books, or premed101. The no.1 resource is priceless, and it is “your” people.  Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you. 
  
           5. Ryan Gosling "Hey Girl" memes. That is all. 

Part II: Should I Stay or Should I Go?